Music Jokes

I have been cleaning out my house and found a list of some music jokes that I thought of once upon a time and wrote down.  I decided that since we all need a laugh here and there–even if the jokes are dumb–I’d go ahead and post them here.  Some are best when said out loud.

Enjoy!

Q: Why did the student get kicked out of orchestra rehearsal?
A: He didn’t know how to conduct himself.

Q: What do musicians build their houses with?
A: Tuba-fours!

Q: How did the musician get across the ocean?
A: He flute.

Q: How do you talk long-distance to a musician?
A: Euphonium

Q: What do you call a naked note?
A: A baritone

Q: What instrument do skeletons play?
A: The trombone

Q: What do you call a cucumber who sings bass?
A: A piccolo.

Q: When playing cards, what will a musician do when he can’t follow a suit?
A: He’ll trumpet.

Q: How do you capture a drummer?
A: With a snare.

Q: What kind of music do fish like to play?
A: Scales

Q: What do musicians use when they brush their teeth?
A: A tuba toothpaste

Q: What happens when musicians play too many scales?
A: They get keyboard.

Q: What did the tuba player get kicked out of rehearsal?
A: He was a treble-maker.

Q: What do you call a trombone player who hits a home run?
A: A bass-runner.

This one’s not mine (but a favorite):
Q: Why do chickens say “Bock?”
A: Because they cannot say “Beethoven”

Extra corny jokes.

Q: Why doesn’t corn like to read music?
A: It would rather play by ear.

Q: What part of the music does corn like to play?
A: The hominy

Cornstalk 1: “Have you ever played this tune before? I don’t know how it goes?”
Cornstalk 2: “Nope, but no worries.  I’m sure we can just play it by ear.”

Books for Musicians

Playing a Woodwind Instrument by Clara Net

Double-reed Frustrations by Macon A. Reid

Keeping the Beat by Tim Poe

Marching Techniques by Mark Tyme

Skipping Over the Scales by Art Pedgio

Play it Louder! by Chris Shindoe

Fast Tunes for Good Moods by Al Legro

 

I hope I was successful in making you laugh (and roll your eyes).

I would love to hear your silly jokes if you have any.  Share in the comments below!

 

 

 

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